I believe strongly in Attachment Theory as taught by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth who built upon his theory by conducting what is strangely called "The Strange Situation" because young children were put in a strange situation by the mother leaving and the researchers would watch the infants reaction WHEN THE PARENT/Caregiver RETURNED. If they cried but were comforted by their caregiver's return and would go off and play, they were secure; if they cried but could not be comforted by the caregiver but instead clung to the mother and wouldn't go play, they were anxiously attached; if they didn't cry and barely seemed to notice when their caregiver left or returned, they were avoidantly attached. For my video post on the subject,go to
http://youtu.be/9VuBjNUHc7A
Showing posts with label Cheryl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cheryl. Show all posts
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Reader Response; Infant sharing same bed as mother
Up All NightApr 7, 2012 10:59 PM
From Cheryl R:
I recommend it! I recommend it both from a personal point of view, and then from a large body of research that conflicts with recent reports that have alarmed many new parents about co-sleeping.
My Story
With my first child, I was terrified to sleep with her because I had heard horror stories of mothers rolling on their infants, so I tried sleeping separately. When my baby cried, I would rouse myself from delicious sleep to get her. It was so cold outside my cozy blankets, and when I picked up my baby, her body temperature seemed to fluctuate so much that I could not decide how to dress or cover her. When I nursed her in a chair, feeling chilled and nauseous from weariness,I was afraid I would fall asleep and drop her to the floor. When she finally fell asleep, she would wake up when I tried to lay her down, especially after the first week. I can see why exhausted mothers decide to let their infants “Cry It Out”.
My husband came from a large family that believed in the “family bed”. I certainly didn't want a "family bed", but I didn't want to leave the baby to cry nor keep getting up. I was desperate. My husband recommended that I call his sister who was an expert on the subject. She is a very intelligent woman, and I respected her and her children very much, so I decided to call her, but I still had strong reservations. I told her of my fear of rolling on my baby, and she said if I lay my baby on my upper arm, I would not roll on her. I tried it while I was awake, and it seem unlikely that I would roll on her, so I decided to try it. She was so light that it was not uncomfortable for me. It was a blissful change for us! When our baby began to wake, I could stay half asleep, and comfort or nurse her in a warm comfortable position. She and I maintained a comfortable temperature. Her sleep patterns became more regular and matched mine. As she got older, I was able to adjust to what was comfortable for our family, the I have never regretted the decision as I believe it made a major difference in my health and the relationship with our children, all without taking extra time!
The Research
It turns out there is a lot of controversy over the subject of co-sleeping. The U. S. Consumer Products Safety Commission (CPSC) did a study that concluded that co-sleeping increased the risk of SIDS, and this study is widely quoted. This is why there is such a recent scare over co-sleeping. Several medical practitioners and researchers disagree with the conclusions of this “study”and contend that the validity of this research is weak. In his book “The Baby Sleep Book: The Complete Guide to a Good Night's Rest for the Whole Family”, Dr Sears says that the CPSC research does not follow research protocol, and does not coincide with many other studies, including those in other countries, that show co-sleeping reduces the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). For more analysis, please read my book review of this book posted on this website, especially paragraphs 5 & 6 of the review.
In a class at the University of Utah, I was also taught that the research shows that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS because the mother's breathing helps regulate the infant's breathing and other bodily functions (Diamond, fall 2011). This certainly matches my personal experience, that co-sleeping is more safe and natural and is the preferred sleeping pattern around the world. A website, www.askdrsears.com, written by a family of doctors, has a page that talks about co-sleeping. Dr Sears said that the risk of SIDS increases when infants sleep alone because their bodies have trouble regulating on their own. SIDS has often been called crib death because these infants were found dead in their cribs (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/crib+death).
Further Recommendations
If you still worry about co-sleeping, there are still ways to be near your baby. At www.askdrsears.com type co-sleeping in the search box. As you scroll to the bottom of that webpage, it shows a cute little bed that attaches securely and safely to the side of the adults bed, for those who don't feel secure with co-sleeping. It gives a link to the website that sells these within arms reach "cribs".
Diamond, L. M. (Fall, 2011). Psy 2800, Psychology of Love, University of Utah.
Sears, W., Sears, R., Sears, J., Sears, M. (2005). The baby sleep book: The
complete guide to a good night's rest for the whole family (Sears parenting
library). New York: NY: Little, Brown and Company, Hachette Book Group.
Available in paperback and eBook Edition.
I recommend it! I recommend it both from a personal point of view, and then from a large body of research that conflicts with recent reports that have alarmed many new parents about co-sleeping.
My Story
With my first child, I was terrified to sleep with her because I had heard horror stories of mothers rolling on their infants, so I tried sleeping separately. When my baby cried, I would rouse myself from delicious sleep to get her. It was so cold outside my cozy blankets, and when I picked up my baby, her body temperature seemed to fluctuate so much that I could not decide how to dress or cover her. When I nursed her in a chair, feeling chilled and nauseous from weariness,I was afraid I would fall asleep and drop her to the floor. When she finally fell asleep, she would wake up when I tried to lay her down, especially after the first week. I can see why exhausted mothers decide to let their infants “Cry It Out”.
My husband came from a large family that believed in the “family bed”. I certainly didn't want a "family bed", but I didn't want to leave the baby to cry nor keep getting up. I was desperate. My husband recommended that I call his sister who was an expert on the subject. She is a very intelligent woman, and I respected her and her children very much, so I decided to call her, but I still had strong reservations. I told her of my fear of rolling on my baby, and she said if I lay my baby on my upper arm, I would not roll on her. I tried it while I was awake, and it seem unlikely that I would roll on her, so I decided to try it. She was so light that it was not uncomfortable for me. It was a blissful change for us! When our baby began to wake, I could stay half asleep, and comfort or nurse her in a warm comfortable position. She and I maintained a comfortable temperature. Her sleep patterns became more regular and matched mine. As she got older, I was able to adjust to what was comfortable for our family, the I have never regretted the decision as I believe it made a major difference in my health and the relationship with our children, all without taking extra time!
The Research
It turns out there is a lot of controversy over the subject of co-sleeping. The U. S. Consumer Products Safety Commission (CPSC) did a study that concluded that co-sleeping increased the risk of SIDS, and this study is widely quoted. This is why there is such a recent scare over co-sleeping. Several medical practitioners and researchers disagree with the conclusions of this “study”and contend that the validity of this research is weak. In his book “The Baby Sleep Book: The Complete Guide to a Good Night's Rest for the Whole Family”, Dr Sears says that the CPSC research does not follow research protocol, and does not coincide with many other studies, including those in other countries, that show co-sleeping reduces the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). For more analysis, please read my book review of this book posted on this website, especially paragraphs 5 & 6 of the review.
In a class at the University of Utah, I was also taught that the research shows that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS because the mother's breathing helps regulate the infant's breathing and other bodily functions (Diamond, fall 2011). This certainly matches my personal experience, that co-sleeping is more safe and natural and is the preferred sleeping pattern around the world. A website, www.askdrsears.com, written by a family of doctors, has a page that talks about co-sleeping. Dr Sears said that the risk of SIDS increases when infants sleep alone because their bodies have trouble regulating on their own. SIDS has often been called crib death because these infants were found dead in their cribs (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/crib+death).
Further Recommendations
If you still worry about co-sleeping, there are still ways to be near your baby. At www.askdrsears.com type co-sleeping in the search box. As you scroll to the bottom of that webpage, it shows a cute little bed that attaches securely and safely to the side of the adults bed, for those who don't feel secure with co-sleeping. It gives a link to the website that sells these within arms reach "cribs".
Diamond, L. M. (Fall, 2011). Psy 2800, Psychology of Love, University of Utah.
Sears, W., Sears, R., Sears, J., Sears, M. (2005). The baby sleep book: The
complete guide to a good night's rest for the whole family (Sears parenting
library). New York: NY: Little, Brown and Company, Hachette Book Group.
Available in paperback and eBook Edition.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Recommended Blog: KellyMom
KellyMom
This is definitely a site for new parents, especially those who want their baby to breastfeed. It covers topics such as premature infants, newborns, infant reflux, nighttime parenting, baby's health, growth, and development, and mom's health. It has breastfeeding basics, can I breastfeed if, what is normal, common concerns, exercise and breastfeeding, pumping and employment, breastfeeding and alcohol. It has mother to mother forums with thousands of posts organized for easy access, and a place to ask questions such as “Are green stools normal?”. This site is devoted to new parents!!
I happened onto kelly.mom when my adult daughter worried if her stored breastmilk—that had separated—was safe. I searched many websites, but kelly.com was the most useful. I was pleased that the information was researched and referenced. It explained why some mothers' milk breaks down due to an extra lipase enzyme which is healthy but digests the milk for quicker breakdown when stored ( Lawrence & Lawrence, 2005 as cited on Kelly).
I wondered if Kelly had been a Family Life Educator, psychology major, or medical student because her profile said, “At KellyMom.com, our goal is to provide support & evidence-based information on breastfeeding, sleep and parenting”. This website links to sources such as the Yale Medical School on pyloric stenosis (forceful vomiting), an article by the American Academy of Pediatrics on the benefits of nursing and how pediatricians can help new mothers succeed (American, 2005), several links to the La Leche League, hospital sites, and articles written by doctors and nurses.
Don't let the research/reference quality of this website scare you away. Most of the posts are down to earth, easy reads. There is a KellyMom Parenting Community where mothers connect to other mothers. Lisa and MAsmom set up the topic "Newborn to 6 months", which had 17,450 threads and 128,247 posts. Wildflower and Hot Dog moderate the topic" 6-12 month", and they had 9,842 threads and 73, 892 posts. There was a "Diet and Health Chat" with 7,544 threads and 45,383 posts; the last post was today about ear infections. Some of the questions were very open, things you might be afraid to ask your mom or the doctor. The largest group I located was called Coffee Talk by Timothysmama and Konurs Mom, which said “Want to talk about something that doesn't fit any of the other boards: Come on in!”; it had 17,545 threads and 227,995 posts! WOW!!! You get to this community forum from almost any Kelly web page by clicking the large blue rectangle near the top right that says. “Do you have breastfeeding or parenting questions? Visit Our Forums!”
KellyMom was relatively easy to navigate, which was restful. It had a box in the upper right corner which said “enter text and click to search”. I typed in the question that had brought me to KellyMom in the first place, and the internal search engine worked! Some websites have such poor search engines that I must step outside the site, write the question and the name of the website in google search, in order to find information within the site.
Who would think that a website named KellyMom would be so diversified and far-reaching. I recommend KellyMom to new parents for its evidence-based information, for its mother to mother forums, and its relative ease of use. Kelly.com is definitely pro breastfeeding, and has some of the best information on how to succeed in any situation, but if you are squeamish, you might be turned off by such articles as tandem nursing.
References
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2005). Breastfeeding and the use of human milk.
Pediatrics 2005; 115; 496 DOI: 10.1542/peds.2004-2491. Retrieved online March 31, 2012
at http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/115/2/496.full.html
Larson, R, & Lawrence, R. Breastfeeding: A guide for the medical profession, 6th ed, as cited on
kelly.com. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: Mosby, 2005: 781)
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Book Review: The baby sleep book: The complete guide...
One of the biggest challenges for new parents is getting adequate sleep! The Baby Sleep Book: The Complete Guide to a Good Night's Rest for the Whole Family by William Sears, M.D., Robert Sears, M.D., James Sears, M. D., and Martha Sears, R. N., talks about the importance, tools and attitudes for the whole family to get a good night's sleep with their baby.
It is interesting that this book is written by a family of medical professionals: Dr “Bill” who received his pediatric training at Harvard Medical School's Children's Hospital in Boston and is presently an Associate Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at the University of California, Irvine; his wife Martha,
a mother of eight children, a registered nurse, a former childbirth educator, a La Leche League leader, and a lactation consultant; and two of their sons who are also pediatricians. I like the way this book has referenced research along with insights from the authors' professional and personal lives.
All four doctor authors have experience with their own children and children in their pediatric practice. They emphasize that this book is a book of options and not “shoulds”, and that new parents need to find solutions that they are both comfortable with and that allow adequate sleep. Parents should not become martyrs, and be so sleepy during the day that they can not have fun and interact with their baby. In chapter 1 they quickly get into strategies for improving sleep for the whole family, but before I mention them I want to tell Dr. Bill's and Martha's own personal experience.
Dr. Bill and Martha's first three children were easy sleepers and did not come into their parents bed except to snuggle in the mornings. Their fourth child, Hayden, was fine for the first six months in her cradle right next to Martha, but when she graduated to the crib she woke more and more often until one night, out of sheer exhaustion from being wakened every hour, Martha brought Hadyn to bed and they both slept for hours. For years Dr. Bill and Martha had believed the books that said no co-sleeping, but now Martha said, “I don't care what the books say, I'm tired and I need some sleep!” (ch 5, Our Co-Sleeping Experiences, ¶ 1 & 2).
Being a researcher, Dr. Bill did an experiment on another newborn daughter, Lauren. Lauren was wired to a computer to monitor her heart, breathing, and oxygen levels while she was sleeping with her mother and while she was sleeping alone. Baby Lauren's “breathing and heart rate were more regular during shared sleep, and she experienced fewer 'dips'—low points in respiration and blood oxygen from slower breathing episodes. On the night Lauren slept with Martha, there were no dips in her blood oxygen, where on the night Lauren slept alone, there were 132 dips” (ch 5, Our Co-Sleeping Experiments, ¶ 2). Other research shows that both human and animal babies who co-sleep with their mothers had more balanced levels of cortisol, higher levels of growth hormones which are essential for brain and heart growth (ch 5, Science says: Co-sleeping is healthful, ¶ 2, 5).
They also refer to some recent studies that suggest the risk of SIDS increased with co-sleeping, but they were not comfortable with the way the data was collected. They explained that researchers looked at death certificates in the United States for the years 1990 through 1997 and found 515 cases in which a child under two had died in an adult bed. Of these deaths, 394 were caused by entrapment in the bed structure, and the other 121 deaths were reported to be due to overlying of the child by the parent, another adult, or a sibling. The study failed to use matched controls nor explain other studies that show co-sleeping decreased the risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), except for smokers, and that countries with the highest levels of co-sleeping usually have the lowest levels of SIDS. “The fact is that many more infants die when sleeping alone in a crib than when sleeping in their parents' bed” (ch 5, co-sleeping is safer, ¶ 6, 7).
As a reader, I wasn't able to sort out the contradictions without further research, but I do believe they show that co-sleeping is a viable option. It does require safety precautions, such as preventing the child from sleeping on too soft a surface, soft pillows, piles of blankets, or near an edge where they could be wedged between the bed and a wall, etc. Also, parents who smoke, drink alcohol, take sleeping pills, or anything that could impair consciousness, should not co-sleep.
Co-sleeping was not the only method they recommended. They said if the child was doing well in a crib, and was thriving, that was fine. They also recommended room sharing, or a bed next to the parents bed. Five steps to improving infant's sleep are: 1. find out where you and your baby sleep best; 2. Learn baby's tired times; 3. Create a safe and comfortable environment conducive to sleep; 4. Create a variety of bedtime rituals; 5. Help baby sleep for longer stretches. They warned “If your baby is a newborn (less than two months old), do not jump into this sleep plan or any other sleep plan. Newborn babies are not ready to learn more mature sleep patterns (ch. 1, preview, ¶ 4).
Being a devoted father, Dr. Bill
gave fathering Tips. He asked, “What is the biggest contributor to mother burnout? Father walk-out!” (ch 8, ¶7) and gave these suggestions among many others: 1. Understand the switch to mother mode: respect the wife's desires to nurture the baby and herself, which will increase her romantic feelings; 2. Keep the nest tidy: Take Inventory Daily Yourself. Don't wait to be asked; 3. Be sensitive: Notice that the wife is trying to be the perfect mother and homemaker. Intervene before she begins to feel overwhelmed and depressed. Have a willing attitude. Resentment won't help the Dad feel more rested and it won't earn points with the wife. This goes along with research that parents need to be proactive in their parenting. They need to be invested and feel empowered. That is why fathers need to be involved. (Bredehoft & Walcheski,2009). Chapter 8 of The Baby Sleep Book gives Dads a total of 23 nighttime fathering tips to help with this proactive process!
Though the authors are open to ways to make it so parents will be able to get their sleep and maintain intimacy, they had great concerns about the Let Them Cry It Out (CIO) philosophy. As a physician, Dr. Bill could often sense when parents began to use the method. When they came in for check-ups, they seemed to be less sensitive to their baby, sometimes leaving the baby in the car seat as they talked. One couple's baby, who had been previously thriving, began what Dr. Bill called "shutdown syndrome". The baby only gained a few ounces in a couple of weeks, had lost the sparkle in his eyes, and had poor muscle tone. When he pointed this out to the parents, they changed back to their former ways and the baby began to gain healthy weight and muscle tone in the next few weeks, although the parents admitted he wasn't as "good" when it came to sleeping (ch, 4, Baby training, ¶ 3-5).
The authors admitted Crying It Out (CIO) may work for some easy babies without harming the child. It is important for the parent to remain sensitive to signals from the baby. Watch for signs of distress and detachment during the day. Also, if crying goes on too long, the baby may be going through a growth spurt and need more nutrition during the night, which could lead to learning disabilities later on. Studies show that infants who have been left to Cry It Out are ten times more likely to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) (Wolke, 2002 as cited in Sears, (2005) chapter 10, Science says..., ¶ 4) . Extended crying may signal that this baby is overwhelmed with fear and needs nurturing. Babies do not have object permanence, and when parents leave the room, babies believe they are all alone. They may stop crying, but not because they have soothed themselves, but because they have given up sending the signal, which may affect their intelligence. Dr M. R. Rao and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health showed that infants with prolonged unattended-to crying in the first three months of life had an average IQ of 9 points lower than average at five years of age (Rao as quoted in Sears, 2005).
Nature has made a mother's biology to respond to a crying infant. There is an increased blood flow to the breasts and blood samples show a sharp increase in oxytocin. This is because these attachment behaviors increase the survival rate of infants by provoking a response from the parents, especially the mother. The authors say the baby is not trying to manipulate, they are trying to communicate (ch 10, What crying “it” out really means). A mother does not need to feel guilt, or think she is weak, or worry about her baby's adjustment if she wants to respond to her baby's cries. It is biological and healthy, claim the authors.
The topic of getting enough sleep with a baby is very current and controversial, getting over 900 comments on Amazon for this book and other books on the subject. Good sleep is essential to good emotional and physical health, so anything that helps new parents and their babies sleep well is valuable. I believe this authors presented a reasonable and persuasive argument for their point of view, and I recommend this book to all parents to try if it will solve their family sleep issues.
More questions can be answered on the authors' website at "http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/attachment-parenting/4-ways-ap-can-reduce-risk-sids">
Bredehoft, D. J., Walcheski, M. J. (2009). Family life education: Integrating
theory and practice. St. Paul, MN: Concordia University.
Rao, M. R. et al. (2004). Long-term cognitive development in children with prolonged crying.
National Institutes of Health. Archives of Disease in Childhood 89:989-992 as quoted in Sears
The baby sleep book: The complete guide to a good night's rest for the whole family.
Sears, W., Sears, R., Sears, J., Sears, M. (2005). The baby sleep book: The
complete guide to a good night's rest for the whole family (Sears parenting
library). New York: NY: Little, Brown and Company, Hachette Book Group.
Available in paperback and eBook Edition.
Wolke, D., et al. (2002) Persistant infant crying and hyperactivity problems in middle childhood.
Pediatrics 109:1054-1060 as cited in Sears The baby sleep book: The complete guide to a
good night's rest for the whole family chapter 10, heading Science says: Crying it out may
harmful to your child's health, ¶ 4).
It is interesting that this book is written by a family of medical professionals: Dr “Bill” who received his pediatric training at Harvard Medical School's Children's Hospital in Boston and is presently an Associate Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at the University of California, Irvine; his wife Martha,
a mother of eight children, a registered nurse, a former childbirth educator, a La Leche League leader, and a lactation consultant; and two of their sons who are also pediatricians. I like the way this book has referenced research along with insights from the authors' professional and personal lives.
All four doctor authors have experience with their own children and children in their pediatric practice. They emphasize that this book is a book of options and not “shoulds”, and that new parents need to find solutions that they are both comfortable with and that allow adequate sleep. Parents should not become martyrs, and be so sleepy during the day that they can not have fun and interact with their baby. In chapter 1 they quickly get into strategies for improving sleep for the whole family, but before I mention them I want to tell Dr. Bill's and Martha's own personal experience.
Dr. Bill and Martha's first three children were easy sleepers and did not come into their parents bed except to snuggle in the mornings. Their fourth child, Hayden, was fine for the first six months in her cradle right next to Martha, but when she graduated to the crib she woke more and more often until one night, out of sheer exhaustion from being wakened every hour, Martha brought Hadyn to bed and they both slept for hours. For years Dr. Bill and Martha had believed the books that said no co-sleeping, but now Martha said, “I don't care what the books say, I'm tired and I need some sleep!” (ch 5, Our Co-Sleeping Experiences, ¶ 1 & 2).
Being a researcher, Dr. Bill did an experiment on another newborn daughter, Lauren. Lauren was wired to a computer to monitor her heart, breathing, and oxygen levels while she was sleeping with her mother and while she was sleeping alone. Baby Lauren's “breathing and heart rate were more regular during shared sleep, and she experienced fewer 'dips'—low points in respiration and blood oxygen from slower breathing episodes. On the night Lauren slept with Martha, there were no dips in her blood oxygen, where on the night Lauren slept alone, there were 132 dips” (ch 5, Our Co-Sleeping Experiments, ¶ 2). Other research shows that both human and animal babies who co-sleep with their mothers had more balanced levels of cortisol, higher levels of growth hormones which are essential for brain and heart growth (ch 5, Science says: Co-sleeping is healthful, ¶ 2, 5).
They also refer to some recent studies that suggest the risk of SIDS increased with co-sleeping, but they were not comfortable with the way the data was collected. They explained that researchers looked at death certificates in the United States for the years 1990 through 1997 and found 515 cases in which a child under two had died in an adult bed. Of these deaths, 394 were caused by entrapment in the bed structure, and the other 121 deaths were reported to be due to overlying of the child by the parent, another adult, or a sibling. The study failed to use matched controls nor explain other studies that show co-sleeping decreased the risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), except for smokers, and that countries with the highest levels of co-sleeping usually have the lowest levels of SIDS. “The fact is that many more infants die when sleeping alone in a crib than when sleeping in their parents' bed” (ch 5, co-sleeping is safer, ¶ 6, 7).
As a reader, I wasn't able to sort out the contradictions without further research, but I do believe they show that co-sleeping is a viable option. It does require safety precautions, such as preventing the child from sleeping on too soft a surface, soft pillows, piles of blankets, or near an edge where they could be wedged between the bed and a wall, etc. Also, parents who smoke, drink alcohol, take sleeping pills, or anything that could impair consciousness, should not co-sleep.
Co-sleeping was not the only method they recommended. They said if the child was doing well in a crib, and was thriving, that was fine. They also recommended room sharing, or a bed next to the parents bed. Five steps to improving infant's sleep are: 1. find out where you and your baby sleep best; 2. Learn baby's tired times; 3. Create a safe and comfortable environment conducive to sleep; 4. Create a variety of bedtime rituals; 5. Help baby sleep for longer stretches. They warned “If your baby is a newborn (less than two months old), do not jump into this sleep plan or any other sleep plan. Newborn babies are not ready to learn more mature sleep patterns (ch. 1, preview, ¶ 4).
Being a devoted father, Dr. Bill
gave fathering Tips. He asked, “What is the biggest contributor to mother burnout? Father walk-out!” (ch 8, ¶7) and gave these suggestions among many others: 1. Understand the switch to mother mode: respect the wife's desires to nurture the baby and herself, which will increase her romantic feelings; 2. Keep the nest tidy: Take Inventory Daily Yourself. Don't wait to be asked; 3. Be sensitive: Notice that the wife is trying to be the perfect mother and homemaker. Intervene before she begins to feel overwhelmed and depressed. Have a willing attitude. Resentment won't help the Dad feel more rested and it won't earn points with the wife. This goes along with research that parents need to be proactive in their parenting. They need to be invested and feel empowered. That is why fathers need to be involved. (Bredehoft & Walcheski,2009). Chapter 8 of The Baby Sleep Book gives Dads a total of 23 nighttime fathering tips to help with this proactive process!
Though the authors are open to ways to make it so parents will be able to get their sleep and maintain intimacy, they had great concerns about the Let Them Cry It Out (CIO) philosophy. As a physician, Dr. Bill could often sense when parents began to use the method. When they came in for check-ups, they seemed to be less sensitive to their baby, sometimes leaving the baby in the car seat as they talked. One couple's baby, who had been previously thriving, began what Dr. Bill called "shutdown syndrome". The baby only gained a few ounces in a couple of weeks, had lost the sparkle in his eyes, and had poor muscle tone. When he pointed this out to the parents, they changed back to their former ways and the baby began to gain healthy weight and muscle tone in the next few weeks, although the parents admitted he wasn't as "good" when it came to sleeping (ch, 4, Baby training, ¶ 3-5).
The authors admitted Crying It Out (CIO) may work for some easy babies without harming the child. It is important for the parent to remain sensitive to signals from the baby. Watch for signs of distress and detachment during the day. Also, if crying goes on too long, the baby may be going through a growth spurt and need more nutrition during the night, which could lead to learning disabilities later on. Studies show that infants who have been left to Cry It Out are ten times more likely to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) (Wolke, 2002 as cited in Sears, (2005) chapter 10, Science says..., ¶ 4) . Extended crying may signal that this baby is overwhelmed with fear and needs nurturing. Babies do not have object permanence, and when parents leave the room, babies believe they are all alone. They may stop crying, but not because they have soothed themselves, but because they have given up sending the signal, which may affect their intelligence. Dr M. R. Rao and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health showed that infants with prolonged unattended-to crying in the first three months of life had an average IQ of 9 points lower than average at five years of age (Rao as quoted in Sears, 2005).
Nature has made a mother's biology to respond to a crying infant. There is an increased blood flow to the breasts and blood samples show a sharp increase in oxytocin. This is because these attachment behaviors increase the survival rate of infants by provoking a response from the parents, especially the mother. The authors say the baby is not trying to manipulate, they are trying to communicate (ch 10, What crying “it” out really means). A mother does not need to feel guilt, or think she is weak, or worry about her baby's adjustment if she wants to respond to her baby's cries. It is biological and healthy, claim the authors.
The topic of getting enough sleep with a baby is very current and controversial, getting over 900 comments on Amazon for this book and other books on the subject. Good sleep is essential to good emotional and physical health, so anything that helps new parents and their babies sleep well is valuable. I believe this authors presented a reasonable and persuasive argument for their point of view, and I recommend this book to all parents to try if it will solve their family sleep issues.
More questions can be answered on the authors' website at "http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/attachment-parenting/4-ways-ap-can-reduce-risk-sids">
Bredehoft, D. J., Walcheski, M. J. (2009). Family life education: Integrating
theory and practice. St. Paul, MN: Concordia University.
Rao, M. R. et al. (2004). Long-term cognitive development in children with prolonged crying.
National Institutes of Health. Archives of Disease in Childhood 89:989-992 as quoted in Sears
The baby sleep book: The complete guide to a good night's rest for the whole family.
Sears, W., Sears, R., Sears, J., Sears, M. (2005). The baby sleep book: The
complete guide to a good night's rest for the whole family (Sears parenting
library). New York: NY: Little, Brown and Company, Hachette Book Group.
Available in paperback and eBook Edition.
Wolke, D., et al. (2002) Persistant infant crying and hyperactivity problems in middle childhood.
Pediatrics 109:1054-1060 as cited in Sears The baby sleep book: The complete guide to a
good night's rest for the whole family chapter 10, heading Science says: Crying it out may
harmful to your child's health, ¶ 4).
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Working Mothers and Stress
It was Mary's dream to be able to stay home with her baby, but when her husband lost his job, it was decided that she should go back to teaching. She cried and cried. Her husband could not understand her prolonged stress and bouts of depression and it stressed him.
The grandmother quit her part time job to help take care of the baby, and drive the baby to the mother during the mother's work breaks and lunch. The grandmother learned that elementary school teachers have few breaks. Teachers are expected to be available for recess duty and on cold days, indoor recess.
Was Mary's experience unusual? A study of 700 working mothers of infants found that any protective qualities of work, such as positive perceptions of health and improved physical functioning, were reduced for mothers of young children. These mothers had greater conflicts between work and family than mothers of older children (Marshall & Tracy, 2009, p. 380)
Another study showed that mothers of infants were more likely to have maternal work stress, negative work-family spillover, and depressive symptoms (Goodman & Crouter, 2009, p 245). This led to poorer outcomes for the infant. Both studies recommend public policies that help mothers to be home with their children at tender young ages because of evidence of the long term negative effects of prolonged separation of young children from their mothers. This perhaps could be because it violates the principles of attachment theory, which have been robustly confirmed with numerous studies that infants need to establish a connection with a primary caregiver.
Mothers who need to go to work should work to find solutions, including going to their teachers' or company's unions to demand breaks throughout their workday, so that they can use a breast pump and/or visits from their baby to maintain their milk supply. Such measures could help reduce the grief, stress and depression that new mothers can feel when they must go back to work.
The grandmother quit her part time job to help take care of the baby, and drive the baby to the mother during the mother's work breaks and lunch. The grandmother learned that elementary school teachers have few breaks. Teachers are expected to be available for recess duty and on cold days, indoor recess.
Was Mary's experience unusual? A study of 700 working mothers of infants found that any protective qualities of work, such as positive perceptions of health and improved physical functioning, were reduced for mothers of young children. These mothers had greater conflicts between work and family than mothers of older children (Marshall & Tracy, 2009, p. 380)
Another study showed that mothers of infants were more likely to have maternal work stress, negative work-family spillover, and depressive symptoms (Goodman & Crouter, 2009, p 245). This led to poorer outcomes for the infant. Both studies recommend public policies that help mothers to be home with their children at tender young ages because of evidence of the long term negative effects of prolonged separation of young children from their mothers. This perhaps could be because it violates the principles of attachment theory, which have been robustly confirmed with numerous studies that infants need to establish a connection with a primary caregiver.
Mothers who need to go to work should work to find solutions, including going to their teachers' or company's unions to demand breaks throughout their workday, so that they can use a breast pump and/or visits from their baby to maintain their milk supply. Such measures could help reduce the grief, stress and depression that new mothers can feel when they must go back to work.
References
Goodman, W. B. & Crouter, A. C. (2009). Longitudinal Associations between maternal work stress,
negative work-family spillover, and depressive symptoms. Family Relations: Interdisciplinary
Journal of Applied Family Studies: July 2009, volume 58, number 3.
Marshall, N. L. & Tracy, A.L. (2009). After the baby: Work-family conflict and working mothers'
psychological health. Family Relations: Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Studies:
October 2009, volume 58, number 4.
Oxford study on breastfeeding
If you are wavering on whether or not to breastfeed your baby, here is one more quick pitch. A meta-analysis done by Oxford University and Essex University showed that breastfeeding improved school performance across English, maths and science scores, and persisted into secondary school. "Indeed, there is some evidence that the effect tends to grow over time" (Oxford, 2011). The study compared test scores of children who as babies had been "matched on a huge range of characteristics, including: their sex, gestational age, birth weight, their mother’s age and marital status, parents’ job status and education, and their home environment" (Oxford & Essex, 2011).
University of Oxford. (March 14, 2011). Study: Breastfed children do better at school.
Retrieved March 8, 2012 at http://www.ox.ac.uk/media/news_stories/2011/111403.html
University of Oxford. (March 14, 2011). Study: Breastfed children do better at school.
Retrieved March 8, 2012 at http://www.ox.ac.uk/media/news_stories/2011/111403.html
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Gorilla Moms: What They Can Teach Us About Breastfeeding
Gorilla Mothers:
What They Can Teach Us About
Breastfeeding
In her popular book on breastfeeding, Janet Tamaro gives this account:
“At an Ohio zoo, a female gorilla lived by herself. It's hard to breed gorillas in captivity, but eventually this gorilla was courted, won over, and impregnated by a visiting male. When her baby was born, the gorilla did a terrible thing that mother gorillas do if they haven't been taught a particular skill. She killed her baby.“She killed the baby because she didn't know how to feed him. Gorillas will do one of three things after they give birth. Their first choice is to breastfeed. If they don't know how to breastfeed, the gorilla world gives them only two other options: let their offspring starve, or kill them...“When this gorilla became pregnant again, her keeper knew she needed help to avoid a repeat performance. Somehow, he had to teach her how to breastfeed her baby...But how?”...He called the La Leche League and each day a nursing mother came to the zoo and fed her baby in front of the gorilla...For days, the gorilla couldn't have been less interested. She fished fleas off her fur, scratched her behind, made faces. But as day after day went by, and new La Leche League mothers showed up with bare breasts and babies, the gorilla got more and more interested. Finally, when it was close to her due date, she had her nose pressed up against the bars of her cage to get a better look."But when her baby was born, she acted like a typical new mother. She'd forgotten all that she'd learned...She still didn't have a clue on how to hold the baby or how to get it to latch onto her breast. The baby was crying. The gorilla mother was obviously agitated...
"Her keeper feared for the infant...so he called the La Leche League again...Quickly, the League sent a mother out to the zoo. She stood in front of the bars and attached her baby step by step. She brought her baby's chest to her chest, slowly cradled the baby's head in her left arm, held her breast with her right hand, and tickled the baby's lips with the nipple to get the baby to open his mouth. Then she pulled the open-mouthed baby toward her breast and with one rapid arm motion, got the cooperative baby quickly onto her breast. The gorilla watched, mimicking the moves step by step until, with a nearly audible sigh of relief, the gorilla looked down at her chest and saw her baby feeding happily for the first time. When she had another baby, she didn't need any help from the La Leche League" (Tamaro, 1998, pp 37-38).
Knowledge is Power! It changes what
we do, how we think, and who we
are!
The Science
An article in the Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology, said a survey about great apes in captivity, showed “18% of all maternal infant care failures (i.e., death or human intervention) are the result of flawed or absent nursing” (Abello & Colell, 2006 as qtd by Volk, p 306).
Evolutionists say it may be that the human need for education is due to a “trade-off between the reliability of innate behaviors and the flexible power of a learning brain”, and that our “heightened intelligence... has greater learning requirements... and an increased reliance on learned behaviors such as maternal nursing” (Volk, 2009, p 306, 309).
The Social Factor
Primates and humans are altricial, that is, they are helpless at birth. They require greater parental investment, commitment, communication, and care for a longer period of time. Parents are able to pass on more knowledge and skills, which leads to a greater social support system, thereby increasing their progeny's chances of survival and learning. This social system became a necessary part of human nature and human civilization as humans became interdependent. Social support is essential to social beings. We need to ask for and accept help and education.
Asking for Help
References
Tamaro, J. (1998). So that's what they're for!. Holbrook, MA: Adams Media Corporation
Volk, A. A. (2009). “Human breastfeeding is not automatic: Why that's so and what it means for
human evolution”. Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology
www.jsecjournal.com - 2009, 3(4), pp. 305-314). Retrieved March 3, 2012 at
http://shell.newpaltz.edu/jsec/articles/volume3/issue4/VolkV3I4.pdf
.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Welcome To Our Blog
We are excited to start our blog. We hope to help new parents on their journey into parenthood. We will be covering a variety of topics with various contributors. Visit us often!
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